halloween day pounced upon me like a stealthy lioness on a poor unsuspecting ungulate, springing up out of nowhere, taking me down with a ferocious, neck breaking bite, and then devouring me whole before my sleep deprived brain could even summon up the words: 'whaaa...?'
you mean TODAY is halloween and i have YET to finish making kaya's horse costume or even BEGIN to make ozzy's prince costume??? how came you this day, oh sneaky Halloween, without my note? whatwhat???
with just a few hours before trick or treating begins and getting sweatingly frantic, i do what i always do in such times of great crisis. i get on the phone and call rob. i call his office and get a message that he is not going to be in the office today. i'm surprised by this because he didnt tell me that he was taking the day off. i saw him leave this morning with all the purpose he normally does when he goes to work.
so i call his cell phone. goes to voice mail. so i hang up and call it again. back to voice mail. so i do what anyone would do after calling twice and getting voice mail. i called again. and got voice mail. of course if you've already called three times, might as well call again. finally rob calls me back and he doesnt tell me what he's doing. tries to tell me he's working, but he'll be home early. well, i need you earlier than that, i say in a voice that also says: do you hear the panic in my voice because i havent had time to get these costumes made yet? okay, he says he'll try to be home by 3ish.
after i get off the phone with him, i think to myself, he's being awfully secretive. so i do what anyone in my position would do. i call him back and ask him if he's cheating on me.
rob says he had me on speaker phone while in the midst of golf with some coworkers.
who puts his wife on speaker phone in front of coworkers??? i'll have to keep this in mind the next time i call him and next time i'll ask him how the syphillis treatment went.
anyhoo, i worked with crazy determination the costumes and barely eeked out a costume for the boy and his dog. i managed to get ozzy's costume finished well enough, but kaya's costume was barely finished and was being held together tenuously with a tiny hair clip and desperation.
we ate dinner quickly, and then it was a mad scramble to set up the camera for the photo op. i figured i would have one shot at getting the picture and that my window of opportunity would be ZERO but maybe if i try really fast, scream out directions really loudly at rob, flap my hands wildly, and fart three times, maybe, just maybe, i could get a decent picture of the three.
after hollering at rob and rob hollering at kaya, and ozzy hollering at everyone, we got this picture:
after this shot, i was ready to find something sharp to stab myself with.
making the costumes: several hours, blood, sweat and tears
wearing the costumes: five minutes, blood, sweat and tears, oh the tears!
now the costumes can be banished to storage land.
------------------------*----*---*----*--------------------------------
mimi made her trick or treating rounds with rob and kaya afterwards and came home later that evening and announced loudly: that was the best halloween EVER!
you mean TODAY is halloween and i have YET to finish making kaya's horse costume or even BEGIN to make ozzy's prince costume??? how came you this day, oh sneaky Halloween, without my note? whatwhat???
with just a few hours before trick or treating begins and getting sweatingly frantic, i do what i always do in such times of great crisis. i get on the phone and call rob. i call his office and get a message that he is not going to be in the office today. i'm surprised by this because he didnt tell me that he was taking the day off. i saw him leave this morning with all the purpose he normally does when he goes to work.
so i call his cell phone. goes to voice mail. so i hang up and call it again. back to voice mail. so i do what anyone would do after calling twice and getting voice mail. i called again. and got voice mail. of course if you've already called three times, might as well call again. finally rob calls me back and he doesnt tell me what he's doing. tries to tell me he's working, but he'll be home early. well, i need you earlier than that, i say in a voice that also says: do you hear the panic in my voice because i havent had time to get these costumes made yet? okay, he says he'll try to be home by 3ish.
after i get off the phone with him, i think to myself, he's being awfully secretive. so i do what anyone in my position would do. i call him back and ask him if he's cheating on me.
rob says he had me on speaker phone while in the midst of golf with some coworkers.
who puts his wife on speaker phone in front of coworkers??? i'll have to keep this in mind the next time i call him and next time i'll ask him how the syphillis treatment went.
anyhoo, i worked with crazy determination the costumes and barely eeked out a costume for the boy and his dog. i managed to get ozzy's costume finished well enough, but kaya's costume was barely finished and was being held together tenuously with a tiny hair clip and desperation.
we ate dinner quickly, and then it was a mad scramble to set up the camera for the photo op. i figured i would have one shot at getting the picture and that my window of opportunity would be ZERO but maybe if i try really fast, scream out directions really loudly at rob, flap my hands wildly, and fart three times, maybe, just maybe, i could get a decent picture of the three.
after hollering at rob and rob hollering at kaya, and ozzy hollering at everyone, we got this picture:
after this shot, i was ready to find something sharp to stab myself with.
making the costumes: several hours, blood, sweat and tears
wearing the costumes: five minutes, blood, sweat and tears, oh the tears!
now the costumes can be banished to storage land.
------------------------*----*---*----*--------------------------------
mimi made her trick or treating rounds with rob and kaya afterwards and came home later that evening and announced loudly: that was the best halloween EVER!
the costumes turned out great! was it worth all the last-minute stress? i guess if mimi thinks it was the best halloween ever, then it was! :)
ReplyDeleteOMG hilarious. Had to look twice bc Kaya actually
ReplyDeleteLooked like a horse. Ok mb not but all the costumes r great. No clue how u find the time. I guess u just don't sleep.