we have really been enjoying ozzy's happy nature. he loves to look at people, babble with you, and smiles and laughs readily...things mimi rarely ever did as a baby. i fault myself with mimi's demeanor as an infant. i really think my depression and unhappiness, along with my inexperience with caring for an infant, made her into a very sad, emotional baby. i feel like it's my fault that she didnt have a happy beginning...these thoughts burn holes into my heart... that i did this to my baby girl. i can't change the past, so i have to just try to do better by her from now on. i know some days, i still have moments when i'm probably too tough on her and i need to lighten up. i love to see ozzy so happy. i love these moments when he laughs. it fills me with so much joy. but these moments also remind me so much of how little mimi laughed as a baby and that joy is always tinged with some sadness too.
we have really been enjoying ozzy's happy nature. he loves to look at people, babble with you, and smiles and laughs readily...things mimi rarely ever did as a baby. i fault myself with mimi's demeanor as an infant. i really think my depression and unhappiness, along with my inexperience with caring for an infant, made her into a very sad, emotional baby. i feel like it's my fault that she didnt have a happy beginning...these thoughts burn holes into my heart... that i did this to my baby girl. i can't change the past, so i have to just try to do better by her from now on. i know some days, i still have moments when i'm probably too tough on her and i need to lighten up. i love to see ozzy so happy. i love these moments when he laughs. it fills me with so much joy. but these moments also remind me so much of how little mimi laughed as a baby and that joy is always tinged with some sadness too.
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