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A Humbling Morning

the other morning, as i was trying to get mimi to stop dawdling and get dressed, rather unsuccessfully, i might add, i could feel the lately all too common feeling of irritation rising to the forefront. i have been trying to be more understanding and patient with mimi, but ozzy's constant needs makes it so hard for me to slow down for mimi. i feel constantly pressed for time. time with mimi feels like a luxury i no longer have. and when i think about it, it's really sad for the both of us.

so that morning, my patience wearing thin, i hurried her downstairs after getting dressed with just had her socks left to put on, all the while, chastising her for not getting dressed faster (i dont know why i can't just shut up about it) and telling her to just bring her socks downstairs to put on while i got breakfast ready. as we're going down the stairs, mimi is dragging her feet in the most painfully slowest way...down....each...step, and saying in her most forlorn voice, "This is the WORST DAY EVER!"

once downstairs i started to fix her breakfast. but she's still carrying on, "THIS IS THE WORST DAY EVER!!! THIS IS THE WORST DAY EVER!!!"

"could you stop being so negative? it's not that bad."

"No, you're mad at me!"

"just put your socks on! i'm not mad at you."

"yes, you are! That's cuz i'm still just a kid and i'm still learning!!! THIS IS THE WORST DAY EVER!!!"

"mimi, i'm not asking you to do anything hard. you know how to put your clothes and socks on."

"I KNOW i know that! i'm not talking about putting on socks. I mean that I'm still learning how to be UNRUDE!"

that really shut me up. here was my kid trying to express to me how unhappy she was with our current situation, but unable to express it in a kinder way to me to get me to listen to her. it made me feel pretty low. in an instant she had gone from being a 5 year old to some kind of emotionally enlightened presence and i had turned into an insignificant protozoan speck swimming in the primordial cesspool of humanity.

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