i wont pretend that i remember anything about DNA and RNA from Mrs. Trent's high school physiology class (the only thing i remember is the "protayne ahsburgs in a sea of lipids" said in her north cakalacky accent, and i think that was in refrence to ATPase...aaaaaannnnnnddd let me stop there before i display my astoundingly breathtaking lack of scientific knowledge). but i do know something about genes...that is, to put it in layman's terms...the apple rarely falleth far from the tree from whence it germinateth. every now and then i'll get glimpses of the Robert Im genes in our kids. not just in the way they look but, more worrisome, in their behavior.
taking for instance the other night as we were heading home from dinner out with rob's parents. rob says to me, as he's driving, "when was the last time mimi took a bath. she stinks." mimi is in the back seat and her little ears perk up when she hears her name, and as she is wont to do whenever such occasion arises, yells out at us, 'are you talking about me? are you talking about ME??? ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ME? I SAAAID..." and then i cut her off because somebody has to before she reaches a decibel that blows out my other brain hemisphere, and god knows, i kind of need what little gray matter i've got left...after having my second baby left with me barely two neurons left to rub together.
rob answers her by saying, 'yes. i said you really need a bath. you-reek-ah!'
and without missing a beat, mimi answers smoothly, "yeah, mom, you stink. you need a bath." in a CLASSIC ROBERT IM manner; a signature Robert maneuver to 'shift/deflect'. AND she had just right inflection in her voice and was totally deadpan. i turn to look at rob to shoot him an: 'are you gettin' this???' look and could see that he was ENJOYING hearing his daughter emulating him...i dare say that he was down right PROUD. even if he was trying, but i doubt that he was, he couldnt suppress the GLEE on his face.
well, i suppose it could be argued that mimi's behavior is learned behavior, but i think there's something innate in my kids that drives them to be like Rob, in much the same way that spiders are driven to spin webs and birds just know to build nests and carrie bradshaw must buy those jimmy choos and i must spend hours on facebook, eating halloween candy and bravely subjecting myself to certain tooth decay and arteriosclerosis to rid this house of this evil.
if it wasnt bad enough that she was pulling a 'Rob', unbelievably, she made ME the target (despite my selfless act of candy eating martyrdom)! maybe i shouldnt be surprised at the abuse, when at dinner that very night the mother in law, glancing pointedly at my waistline which has diminished very little since the c-section four months ago, says to me, 'so, do people ask you if you're still pregnant?' so, clearly this behavior is genetic and it runs in the family from the husband's side.
so you say, that's one kid, how 'bout the other? well, let me tell you.
that same evening, just before leaving the house to go to dinner, i was breastfeeding ozzy and rob started watching a football game. ozzy, hears the game on t.v., breaks off the breast and flings his head around completely to the otherside like some bird of prey to see the action on t.v. (if he spun his head around any further and vomited, i think i'm supposed to call an exorcist). then refusing all attempts to force his face around to latch back on. meanwhile i'm dripping milk all over the place. lovely. now i get to go to dinner smelling like warm cheese.
then the game went to commericial and suddenly he's all about the boobies again. sooo like a guy. COME ON NOW! that cant be learned behavior. clearly this attention to balls and boobs is a genetic thing with deep genetic roots; i think jane goodall observed similar behavior among chimps in the wild. and while my evidence is merely anecdotal and not backed with hard scientific data, disirregardlesslyment...ful, you have to agree that it is scary that the kids are so like rob.
Comments
Post a Comment