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we have 4 oz and 160 lbs!

well, ozzy has been out cold for the past 4 hours and i started to get engorged...so i pumped. for the first time in 5 weeks, i have finally made it to 4 ounces. that explains why ozzy has lately been so content after feeding for the most part. judging by his reaction, i seem to have a meager supply in the late afternoon but late at night and early morning seem to be providing enough to hold off on supplementing.

i hope this increase in production will have some beneficial affects on my weight (a whopping 160 and climbing!). how is it that after i had the baby that i'm gaining weight so soon? i should be on a decline now! it's frightening really. and the truly unfortunate wrinkly mess that is my belly, continues to look alarming like i'm 7 months pregnant.

i know it takes time for the belly to go back down, but when i can barely get into my old MATERNITY clothes, it's problematic. i am going to have to make a concerted effort to try to incorporate some exercise into my day when ever possible. i'm so tired every day, though! it was nice when my mom was here to help out with ozzy so i could have a moment away from him. without her, i wonder if i'll be condemned to the couch watching one HBO movie after another while feeding/burping/soothing him through out the day and into the night. when i'm not with ozzy, i'm in the kitchen making food and of course eating.

oh the eating. nothing makes me hungrier than lactating! and of course rob enjoys calling me the 'moo cow' which pains me greatly. he says he only means that i produce milk. so is it merely coincidental that i am also the size of said bovine? ugh. gotta lose this weight. i read somewhere that a lactating woman burns up to 800 calories a day from producing milk... some how i doubt it is thus and so in my case, as i can't seem to beat the weight off with a stick!

anyway, am still wearing maternity clothes...well, what maternity clothes i can still squeeze myself into. refuse to buy more clothes to fit and will try to at least get myself down to a size 8 as my immediate goal. i can't believe how much i've gained over the years... up to a size ??? i am afraid to venture a guess as to what size i am now. all i know is that i am NOT an 8. maybe not even a 10! yikes. never thought i'd ever hit the double digits! (wincing)

mimi saw me standing on the scale yesterday. she wanted to weigh herself (40.5 lbs) and then i weighed myself. she peers at the scale, laughingly says, "woah!," and then says, clearly impressed, "you weight a lotta lotta weight, mom!"

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