mimi has been such a trooper through out the past month, accepting the changes that a new baby brings, and adjusting beautifully, for the most part. i know it's been tough for her though. more and more, she was becoming easily angered/agitated, becoming incensed quickly.
the other day, when my friend, Hope, was visiting with her five month old son, Justin, Mimi came by holding some small LEGO pieces. i told her to keep them away from the babies. she seemed to be listening, holding them tight in her hand, but a few minutes later she says look mommy the baby can play with it too. and i see Justin holding a LEGO piece in his hand. i felt a sudden moment of panic, and immediately seized the toy from his hand, and sharply told mimi never ever give a baby a small toy because they can choke on it. mimi immediately put her fingers to her eyes and pressed down on them and became silent...what she does whenever she feels the prick of tears in her eyes and sobs in her throat.
i immediately backed down and offered some consolation, it's okay, mimi, you didnt know. we have to be more careful though, okay? i tried to pull her to me to hold her, but she resisted and yelled at me thru her tears, "I dont want to live in this house any more!"
it was so painful to see her in so much pain and distress. i'm sure this past month she has been feeling powerless (it's always about power) because of the baby. no, dont press on the baby's head so hard. you can hold the baby, but be careful, no, that's enough holding. no, baby can't eat the food you eat. hurry up and make a choice, the baby is crying, i have to go! in that moment, i could hear all the things she has probably been hearing for weeks and weeks from everyone. i couldnt stop my own tears from falling. mimi finally came over and sat on a scrap of space on my lap that Ozzy wasnt already taking up, and sobbed fitfully into my arm. she didnt seem to mind that Ozzy was taking up most of the space, she just sat where she could and held onto me, crying her heart out. Hope called her over to her and gave her a big hug and told her it was okay and mimi continued to sob as if her heart were breaking. it was a tough moment.
the other day, when my friend, Hope, was visiting with her five month old son, Justin, Mimi came by holding some small LEGO pieces. i told her to keep them away from the babies. she seemed to be listening, holding them tight in her hand, but a few minutes later she says look mommy the baby can play with it too. and i see Justin holding a LEGO piece in his hand. i felt a sudden moment of panic, and immediately seized the toy from his hand, and sharply told mimi never ever give a baby a small toy because they can choke on it. mimi immediately put her fingers to her eyes and pressed down on them and became silent...what she does whenever she feels the prick of tears in her eyes and sobs in her throat.
i immediately backed down and offered some consolation, it's okay, mimi, you didnt know. we have to be more careful though, okay? i tried to pull her to me to hold her, but she resisted and yelled at me thru her tears, "I dont want to live in this house any more!"
it was so painful to see her in so much pain and distress. i'm sure this past month she has been feeling powerless (it's always about power) because of the baby. no, dont press on the baby's head so hard. you can hold the baby, but be careful, no, that's enough holding. no, baby can't eat the food you eat. hurry up and make a choice, the baby is crying, i have to go! in that moment, i could hear all the things she has probably been hearing for weeks and weeks from everyone. i couldnt stop my own tears from falling. mimi finally came over and sat on a scrap of space on my lap that Ozzy wasnt already taking up, and sobbed fitfully into my arm. she didnt seem to mind that Ozzy was taking up most of the space, she just sat where she could and held onto me, crying her heart out. Hope called her over to her and gave her a big hug and told her it was okay and mimi continued to sob as if her heart were breaking. it was a tough moment.
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