i'm having one of those days when having two kids, spaced years apart, with widely divergent developmental needs and interests, is making my head hurt. to help you understand this mind-cramping task, sit holding a book in each hand, doesnt matter what kind, and hold each book out on either side of you, and then try to make your eyes work independently of one another to read both books at the same time. and even though it's giving you a migraine, keep at it OR ELSE YOUR CHILDREN WILL BE EFFED UP FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES!!!
waaah. okay, i'm done cryin' about it.
not to confuse anyone. this is not just a periodic event. oh, nay, my friends and family. it is usually the norm, but most days i have gotten some semblance of a routine going that i can manage without wanting to walk into oncoming traffic. but some days, the puppet master decides to throw in one extra thing in the play of my life and throws off the balance of the whole thing and suddenly, mama starts to get a little cah-RAY-zeeeee! this is the part of the story when mom starts screaming and throwing things, pushes the limits of her marriage to the edge of the precipice, and then tells her kids that the dog is going to the spca tomorrow. oops. no wait, that's not me. that's my mother. i mean, the part about the dog.
so mimi's birthday is coming up and well, there went my last working neuron. most days it's a challenge trying to divide my time between the two kids. when they play together or play quietly alone, it's great. when mimi needs me to help her, i stress out. a good example is piano practice. ozzy wants to get on the piano every time mimi does and he pounds on the keys, climbs all over the piano, turns the lights on and off, messes with the music...it's clearly not conducive for practicing. and mimi is screaming and yelling "noooooo!" over and over and over so loud that my ear start to bleed.
so i found the best i can do is to take ozzy upstairs while mimi practices and to just keep an ear on her playing. i have to memorize all the music myself so i can tell if she is playing the piece correctly or not just by listening to her play. but when she gets stuck?... i feel like taffy being pulled two different ways. ozzy and the piano and mimi should not all be together or it could create a disruption in the sound/space paradox and the universe would explode. (i dont know what any of that means).
so what ends of happening is, i block off ozzy, kicking and screaming for me, to run over to mimi to offer a quick tutorial in super fast speech and then go darting back to the crying boy sobbing his heart out with mimi crying at my retreating back that she doesnt get it and she needs more help. and that's about as good as it gets. i just keep reminding myself that ozzy is growing and he will not always be so needy and that this will get better and that psychotropic drugs are a completely acceptable means of coping with anxiety and nervous breakdowns.
so about the birthday party coming up. mimi would like to have a science themed party. it really really sounds like fun and it's just the sort of thing i could totally immerse myself into... if only i had a brain.
waaah. okay, i'm done cryin' about it.
not to confuse anyone. this is not just a periodic event. oh, nay, my friends and family. it is usually the norm, but most days i have gotten some semblance of a routine going that i can manage without wanting to walk into oncoming traffic. but some days, the puppet master decides to throw in one extra thing in the play of my life and throws off the balance of the whole thing and suddenly, mama starts to get a little cah-RAY-zeeeee! this is the part of the story when mom starts screaming and throwing things, pushes the limits of her marriage to the edge of the precipice, and then tells her kids that the dog is going to the spca tomorrow. oops. no wait, that's not me. that's my mother. i mean, the part about the dog.
so mimi's birthday is coming up and well, there went my last working neuron. most days it's a challenge trying to divide my time between the two kids. when they play together or play quietly alone, it's great. when mimi needs me to help her, i stress out. a good example is piano practice. ozzy wants to get on the piano every time mimi does and he pounds on the keys, climbs all over the piano, turns the lights on and off, messes with the music...it's clearly not conducive for practicing. and mimi is screaming and yelling "noooooo!" over and over and over so loud that my ear start to bleed.
so i found the best i can do is to take ozzy upstairs while mimi practices and to just keep an ear on her playing. i have to memorize all the music myself so i can tell if she is playing the piece correctly or not just by listening to her play. but when she gets stuck?... i feel like taffy being pulled two different ways. ozzy and the piano and mimi should not all be together or it could create a disruption in the sound/space paradox and the universe would explode. (i dont know what any of that means).
so what ends of happening is, i block off ozzy, kicking and screaming for me, to run over to mimi to offer a quick tutorial in super fast speech and then go darting back to the crying boy sobbing his heart out with mimi crying at my retreating back that she doesnt get it and she needs more help. and that's about as good as it gets. i just keep reminding myself that ozzy is growing and he will not always be so needy and that this will get better and that psychotropic drugs are a completely acceptable means of coping with anxiety and nervous breakdowns.
so about the birthday party coming up. mimi would like to have a science themed party. it really really sounds like fun and it's just the sort of thing i could totally immerse myself into... if only i had a brain.
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