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dont be a grandma

mimi has been asking me about how you become a mommy and a grandma. i told her one day i would be a grandma when mimi was all grown up and a mommy herself. this evening, as i put her to bed, she kissed me on the forehead and said, i dont want you to be a grandma because you wont be my same mommy anymore.

i will always be your mommy.

no, i dont want you to be like Noh halmuni (great grandma) with no teeth and old in bed.

i wont be old for a loooong time.

but i dont want you to ever be a grandma and not look like my mommy any more. i love you to be my mommy forever.

i had to reassure her that i wouldnt be old for a long long time b/c she was clearly very worried that i would look old and frail like her great grandma, who is sick and bedridden.

i do remember the first time becoming aware of my own parents getting old and how scary that was for me as a child. i could empathize with mimi's concerns. i wish i could tell her i'd always stay 36 years old and would never grow old, frail, and die.

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